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deathbyneutronstar


Author Note

Bandkanon

Bandkanon Bandkanon said:

....This is that page.
THIS is that page.

This page went through like five goddamn iterations before I was satisfied with it, and to be honest I'm still not actually satisfied with it!. It stopped me up for ALMOST HALF A MONTH, maybe more! If it weren't for THIS page, the chapter would probably have come out much earlier than it did!

It's probably because of this one stupid page that the entire action scene came out looking like shit.

Unless I'm imagining things. I always think my work looks like shit.

But man, I can only fix a thing so many times before my hand literally stops working and makes weird popping noises every time I move it.

So yeah.

FUCK this page I hate it.
If there's anyone out there that actually likes this page, I'd be goddamn gobsmacked.

29th Jan 2020, 9:54 PM

Comments

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Redpine

Redpine Redpine

The art itself is good, the choreography is good, it's the storyboarding that needs work.

Panels 1->2->3 are good. That's a good example of POV switching, where the consistency between 1&3 keeps the 180 degree POV switch from being disorienting.

Panels 4&6 are off. In 4, the action is on the RIGHT side of the panel, where the human LEFT hand stabs Ghost. Panel 6 is a human RIGHT hand on the RIGHT side of the panel losing grip on Ghost. This is followed by panel 7, where the sword is on the RIGHT side of the panel, just like in panel 4, even though the POV is 180 degrees between 4&7.

Before doing rapid POV switches for an action scene, there has to be something to "ground" the POVs against a common point of reference, like you did in 1-3. Ideally, before any close ups, the initial (or final) scene should be from the same or similar angle as the closeups.

Or, put another way, 180 POV switch is fine, close up is fine, overhead is fine, but combining multiple of the above gets confusing.

Your choreography is ambitious, consistent, and solid. The only tricky part is figuring out how to display it. This is much better than having the opposite problem!

30th Jan 2020, 8:16 AM

Bandkanon

Bandkanon Bandkanon

Man... you shoulda seen the first few iterations. The first three panels were actually never changed (aside from the bandit's arm positioning in panel 3) but the bottom half has seen some shit.

Like, by the time I got to the shading stage and came back to this page, I literally said out loud, in an empty room, "we meet again, my sworn enemy". That's the dumbest thing I've ever said out loud (probably) but it is heartfelt.

30th Jan 2020, 12:41 PM

BPOP

BPOP BPOP

I like this page

I like all of the other pages, too

thanks for making this comic, i've enjoyed reading it

30th Jan 2020, 3:04 PM

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